The Second Glass

In this issue we will be dealing with the most feared scenario of all.  You know what I’m talking about; it’s the dreaded, the horrifying, the infamous, the IN-LAWS.

A girlfriend/boyfriend’s parents can instill fear in even the bravest of us, especially on a first meeting. Since wine buying can be almost as formidable as meeting your inlaws, buying wine for your inlaws is one hell of a task. So chill out, pop a Xanax, and keep reading.

Step One: Reconniassance

Getting to know your mark

First thing’s first. Before you go to the store, you have to know what you’re dealing with.  Milk all the information that you can from your sweetheart.  The two most important details to know when buying for a parent is their favorite styles or varietals and their level of wine knowledge.  I’ve categorized them into three general types of wino-ism: A) they know nothing but like to drink it, B) they love wine and know a little bit about it, or C) total wine buffs.

Step Two: Strategy

Choosing a battle-plan

Taking into consideration the knowledge you’ve acquired from your reconnaissance work, you have to choose the option that is best for you.  Here are a few ways to handle different situations.

Nationality:

If you are lucky enough to be dating a first or second generation French, Italian, or Spanish-American, or anyone who’s parents have flags of their nationality adorning every wall of their house, you’re golden.  Just go to your local wine shop, set your budget and ask the employee which is the best buy in a particular country for that kind of money.  If you can, try to be region specific.  Most wine shops should also carry wines from Germany, Australia, Argentina, Chile, Portugal, New Zealand, and South America.

The Type A Wine Drinker:

This group can also be an easy target as long as you have your information handy.  In my experience people who like wine and don’t know much about it generally have one varietal they usually drink.  If this is the case, set a budget and go with it.  Try to stick to domestic wines that have the varietal name on the label.  If they don’t have a favorite varietal, try to get something that has name recognition.  I don’t mean like Franzia, which is recognized and associated with box wine, or even Kendall Jackson, which can be associated with being a $13 bottle of wine.  If you’re really trying to impress them and your budget permits, I would suggest a Niebaum-Coppola Rubicon cab.  It’s about $100 but they’ll know who Francis Ford Coppola is.  If that’s too much to stomach you could also bring the Coppola bottling of ‘Sophia’ sparkling wine for about 18 bucks.  This off-dry and light-styled sparkler could be broken out before dinner and served with apples, pears, and soft cheeses for appetizers.  To really make an impression, try to open this bottle with a saber (mentioned in this issue).  Something middle of the road would be a Robert Mondavi Oakville cabernet for $40 or his Napa Valley cab for $25.

The Type B Wine Drinker:

When buying for a group like this you still want the name recognition.  The plus side here is that they will have heard of more wineries.  The aim is to get them to love the bottle before you have even opened it.  The first bottle that comes to my mind is Stag’s Leap Fay’s Vineyard from 2001.  It’s a great cab but more importantly they’ll recognize the name and they’ll fall in love with the aesthetics of the bottle.  The label just looks damn good and the molded “stag” in the middle of the shoulder tops it off.  They’ll decide they like the bottle when you first present it, then their taste buds will confirm it.  Unfortunately this bottle is about $75, but hell, you only make one first impression.  Another way to go would be to present them with an Au Bon Climat pinot noir from Santa Barbara.  The unmistakable triangular label teases the eyes and the wine will pair well with a lot of different dishes, improving your odds when you don’t know what they’re serving.  This bottle runs for about $30.

The Type C Wine Drinker:

These guys are tough, but they can also be fun to buy for.  You might want to venture into the unchartered territories of the Bordeaux section.  See what they have in the way of wines from Pauillac, Margaux, or St. Julien.  Again, set your budget and ask the guy in the store what would be best in your price range.  These Bordeaux are based on a body of cabernet grapes giving them tannin and therefore, lasting power.  If the parents are super-serious winos they will more than appreciate this gesture.  They’ll take your wine down to their cellar to hold onto and most likely bring up an equally good bottle that they think you’ll appreciate for dinner.

If they aren’t collectors, the best bet would be to find a boutique winery off the beaten path that is really good.  They may or may not be familiar with the winery but either way they’ll be impressed by the wine and will hopefully be inspired to research it.  No matter what they’ll be impressed that you didn’t give them some run of the mill wine.  Try an Andrew Murray or Lewis Syrah, or a Truchard cab.

Keep in mind that although this is an intimidating task, they’ll have to do some drinking to be polite, improving your chances of survival. The more they like the wine, the more they’ll drink, and every sip brings you closer to having an okay or possibly even good time.